I can see it (but I can't feel it)

I'm taking a break from drinking. I have so much homework to do. I'm going to chicago again on thursday, even though i can't really afford it. I wish it was my reading week. If you don't give me any reason to think there is something between us, then i won't think there is something between us. I miss my parents. This is a poorly organized entry with no real point. Here are some random life drawing exercises: One. Two. Three. I wish my scanner wouldn't fuck with the contrast and totally flatten out all of my images. I wish my leg would stop being so sore. I wish my piece of shit refurbished router would work on a consistent basis. I wish i could relax. I wish i could sleep.

If only I were a member of this wireless network, how much better my life would be...

passions just like mine.

Someone please buy me a gaia print. Please.

and i should know because i've seen them.

While normally i maintain that the universe is out to get me-yesterday something changed. I was able to pick up this book at She said boom. Now first of all i show up and the store is closed-the owner apologizes but then changes his mind and askes if there was something specific i was looking for. He opens the store up just so i can come and buy the book. He also only charged me $36 for it even though it was priced at $40 (and the cheapest i've seen it go on ebay for was $140!) He then proceeded to talk to me for a good 20 minutes. To many people it would seem obvious that his motivation for going out of his way for me was simply monetary. I however believe it was much different than that. He didn't have to open to store to let me in. He certainly didn't have to charge me less than was the book was priced at, and he also didn't have to talk to me afterwards. I'm not sure why exactly i'm posting about this-i suppose next time i'm miserable i can look back at this and be reminded that it isn't all bad. I never expect much from people-so when people go out of their way to do something nice it usually catches me off guard-even people i know let alone strangers.

"In post conflictual countries like Lebanon, the public sphere was condemned to death by war. The residents of our cities lost the freedom to move around. The public spaces that act as catalysers of the urban realm are appropriated. They where claimed as private in the male struggle for power by the lethal bullets of snipers. The stairs of gemmayzeh where one of those victims. Now it was time to act and try to reclaim these spaces. Open Air cinema ,a tribute to Fairuz the famous Lebanese singer, was a spontaneous extracurricular intervention During a workshop on public spaces organized by studiobeirut, Archis and Partizan Publik. The idea was to reclaim the stairs as public space by screening a documentary on Fairuz and the Lebanese war. The art intervention came as a mean to appropriate the stair case and declare the physical and the visual united. The black and white image in the flyer was scaled up and printed as a 3mx3m poster. The printout was sliced into pieces then installed on the riser of the staircase. The original image can be seen from a vantage point at a far distance and at close-up it turns into thousands of pixels. The aim of the artwork is to attract the locals and to try to re-familiarize the public space in a therapeutic way."

While i realize we are not in the same situation per say in toronto, i feel as though something similar needs to be done. "Public" space is never public here it seems. A perfect example is when the ROM attempted to get out of paying the $2,400 a year fee because its new “crystal” extension juts over public land. The ROM knew about the fee when it decided to build into public space. Their argument seemed to be based on the idea that this would be a way for the City to show support for public institutions. By waving the fee, that's $2,400 a year that the City's treasury is out. That's $2,400 a year that can not be used to fund actual public institutions. You know, the kind that don't cost $20 per visit. I realize this is an older topic, but i think it's a perfect example of how much value is placed on public space in toronto...

PSiLOVEU

Just saw some of Jason Thielek's work here for the first time-i absolutely love his linear style-i've been doing that sort of thing a lot more lately (although some of my teachers seem to really discourage it-but i've decided fuck it) but i've never seen it used like this.

ps. can't stop listening to the new catpower.

Well let me tell you now

I get no love. I get no sleep at nights. I get nothing that's nice. I get nothing at all, at all, at all, at all, at all, at all, at allllllllll. 'Cause I don't get youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.